Melting

London had reached the sort of temperature where everyone became slightly dramatic.

“It’s officially too hot,” announced Mr Brand for the seventeenth time before breakfast.

“It was officially too hot yesterday,” replied Mrs Brand, already regretting every life decision that involved owning a laptop that generated enough heat to cook a jacket potato.

This was the third heatwave of the year.

The birds had stopped singing because, frankly, it was exhausting.

The squirrels had abandoned all ambition.

Even the pigeons looked cross.

The little garden behind the Brand house resembled a toasted biscuit.

Mousey, the tiny garden mouse who usually dashed around collecting seeds with military efficiency, had given up entirely. He was lying on top of a warm brick beside the flower bed, eyes closed, looking as though he’d booked himself into a very exclusive mouse spa.

Barry peered through the patio doors.

“Mousey’s melted.”

“He hasn’t melted,” sighed Mrs Brand.

“He’s floppy.”

“He’s relaxing.”

Barry frowned.

“I’ve never seen relaxing.”

Mr Brand looked over the top of his glasses.

“You’ve never stopped moving long enough.”

At exactly half-past six, there was a familiar knock.

Marmaduke.

As always.

Marjory looked surprisingly cheerful considering she’d already been awake for hours.

“Morning!”

“You look fresh,” said Mrs Brand suspiciously.

“I’m going to live in air conditioning for the day.”

Mrs Brand looked ready to cry.

Marjory laughed.

“The operating theatres are freezing. Once we’re scrubbed in, we stay in most of the day. Between operations we change scrubs, wash our hands again, grab a drink, eat something quickly, then go straight back.”

Barry looked confused.

“You stay in one room all day?”

“Mostly.”

“Even if it’s sunny?”

“Especially if it’s sunny.”

Barry looked horrified.

“You’ve missed all the sweating.”

“I think I’ve survived.”

Mrs Brand muttered, “Show off.”

Marjory smiled sympathetically.

“I’ll collect Marmaduke later.”

Marmaduke waved enthusiastically.

“I’ve brought my dinosaurs!”

Barry gasped.

“I’ve got sharks!”

“Excellent.”

Mrs Brand rubbed her forehead.

Upstairs, Alfie had reached peak sensible.

His curtains were closed.

His fan was quietly spinning.

He had a cold drink.

A stack of books.

A bowl of grapes.

He had absolutely no intention of coming downstairs.

Barry knocked on the bedroom door.

“What?”

“Do you want to play?”

“No.”

“We’ve got sharks.”

“No.”

“Dad says it’s too hot.”

“I agree with Dad.”

“You could read downstairs.”

“I could. But I won’t.”

Barry thought for a moment.

“Are you hibernating?”

“No.”

“You’ve been in here ages.”

“I’m surviving.”

Barry nodded.

“Same thing.”

Downstairs, both parents attempted to work.

Attempted being the important word.

Mrs Brand stared at her screen.

She typed half a sentence.

Deleted it.

Drank warm water.

Immediately regretted it.

Mr Brand was attending a video meeting.

He smiled politely.

“I’m sorry… could you repeat that?”

Not because he hadn’t heard.

Because his brain had quietly wandered away somewhere around eleven o’clock.

Behind him Barry and Marmaduke were lying upside down on the sofa.

“Why are they upside down?” asked someone in the meeting.

Mr Brand didn’t even turn around.

“It’s cooler.”

It wasn’t.

But nobody argued.

After elevenses, Barry announced,

“We need a plan.”

“For what?” asked Marmaduke.

“Surviving.”

“We’re already surviving.”

“Yes.”

Barry lowered his voice dramatically.

“But are we surviving… enough?”

Marmaduke considered this.

Probably not.

“What do we do?”

Barry folded his arms.

“We become professionals.”

“What professionals?”

“Heat professionals.”

“What’s one of those?”

“I don’t know yet.”

Their first invention was called…

Operation Maximum Breeze.

Barry opened every downstairs window.

Every door.

Every cupboard.

Every kitchen drawer.

Marmaduke helped by opening the washing machine.

Barry frowned.

“I don’t think that catches wind.”

“It might.”

“It won’t.”

“But it could.”

Children possess remarkable optimism.

Mousey wandered inside through the open patio doors.

Very slowly.

Usually he darted.

Today he strolled.

Barry pointed.

“Look!”

Mousey climbed underneath the coffee table.

Curled into the shade.

Didn’t move.

Barry whispered,

“I think he’s become a rug.”

Their second invention involved cardboard.

“We need fans.”

“We’ve got fans.”

“Bigger fans.”

Soon they had enormous pieces of cardboard.

Barry flapped his enthusiastically.

Nothing happened.

He flapped harder.

Still nothing.

Marmaduke copied him.

Within thirty seconds…

both boys were exhausted.

Barry collapsed dramatically.

“I’ve made myself hotter.”

“Me too.”

The cardboard was quietly retired.

Mrs Brand wandered into the kitchen.

“What are you two doing?”

“Science.”

“Obviously.”

“We’re making wind.”

“How’s that going?”

Barry looked disappointed.

“The wind isn’t cooperating.”

Mrs Brand nodded sympathetically.

“It never signs the contract.”

At lunchtime everyone ate watermelon.

Even Alfie emerged.

Not because he wanted company.

Because watermelon was worth leaving the bedroom for.

Barry looked suspiciously at his slice.

“How can fruit have this much water?”

“It grows that way,” said Alfie.

Barry narrowed his eyes.

“That seems unlikely.”

After lunch Barry noticed something extraordinary.

The paddling pool.

Folded.

Leaning against the shed.

Unused.

He looked at Marmaduke.

Marmaduke looked back.

No words were needed.

Danger recognised danger.

Five minutes later…

they had found the hosepipe.

Barry attached it.

Almost.

Water sprayed directly upwards.

Both boys screamed.

Not because they were frightened.

Because cold water was magnificent.

Mr Brand looked through the window.

“Oh dear.”

Mrs Brand didn’t even look up.

“What?”

“They’ve discovered plumbing.”

“Oh dear.”

Eventually the paddling pool filled.

Barry stepped in.

“Perfect.”

Marmaduke climbed in.

“Even better.”

Mousey wandered over.

Barry pointed.

“Mousey wants a swim.”

“No he doesn’t.”

Mousey drank from the edge.

Then sat underneath the pool’s shadow.

Sensibly.

Unlike anyone else.

The boys invented games.

Splash the Pirate.

Invisible Crocodiles.

Floating Leaf Championships.

Can You Make Dad Notice?

That last game was won easily.

Barry shouted,

“Daaaaaad!”

Mr Brand appeared at the door.

“What?”

“We’re being responsible.”

“Wonderful.”

“We’re staying cool.”

“Excellent.”

“We’re also completely soaked.”

“I can see that.”

“We might stay like this forever.”

“I suspect you’ll wrinkle first.”

Half an hour later Barry had another idea.

This sentence worried every adult in the house.

“What if…” asked Barry.

“We made the water colder?”

Marmaduke’s eyes widened.

“How?”

“Ice.”

“Oh!”

“The freezer has loads.”

“No.”

Both boys slowly turned.

Mrs Brand hadn’t looked up from her laptop.

She somehow knew.

Parents develop this ability.

“We weren’t asking.”

“I know.”

“We were thinking.”

“I know.”

“You can hear thoughts?”

“Only yours.”

Instead, they settled for pouring tiny cups of water over each other’s heads.

Mousey watched from the flower bed.

If mice rolled their eyes… she would have.

By three o’clock the heat became truly ridiculous.

The ice lollies appeared.

Orange.

Strawberry.

Lemon.

Barry bit his.

Instant brain freeze.

He froze completely.

Hands on cheeks.

Eyes wide.

Mr Brand smiled.

“Too fast?”

Barry nodded painfully.

Marmaduke licked his carefully.

“I learn from history.”

Meanwhile Alfie had finished his fourth book.

He wandered downstairs.

“Has anything happened?”

Barry looked offended.

“Loads.”

“We’ve survived.”

“We invented wind.”

“We flooded ourselves.”

“We nearly improved ice.”

“We watched Mousey sunbathe.”

“We ate watermelon.”

“We discovered cardboard isn’t windy.”

Alfie blinked.

“I read four books.”

Barry considered this.

“We’ve all had busy days.”

As the evening finally began to cool, everyone sat in the garden.

Even the birds started singing again.

Mousey stretched.

He looked refreshed.

Barry smiled.

“He’s finished his holiday.”

“I think he has,” said Mrs Brand.

Mr Brand leaned back in his chair.

“You know…”

“What?”

“We didn’t actually do very much today.”

Barry looked absolutely astonished.

“We did loads!”

Mr Brand laughed.

“What did we achieve?”

Barry started counting.

“We kept Mousey company.”

“We tested wind.”

“We investigated paddling pools.”

“We protected ourselves from overheating.”

“We ate scientific watermelon.”

“We observed melting adults.”

Mrs Brand laughed.

“Melting adults?”

“You and Dad moved really slowly.”

“We were hot.”

“You looked like sleepy sloths.”

Mr Brand nodded.

“Fair.”

Barry smiled proudly.

“I think we helped.”

Mrs Brand exchanged a glance with Mr Brand.

“You know…”

she admitted.

“You probably did.”

Because every few minutes one of the boys had burst into the office with another ridiculous discovery.

A strangely shaped cloud.

A butterfly.

A particularly enormous bumblebee.

A ladybird with only six visible spots.

Mousey asleep upside down.

Cold watermelon.

Warm paving slabs.

An ice lolly that dripped in the shape of France.

Tiny interruptions.

Tiny adventures.

Tiny reminders that not every summer day had to involve exciting trips or expensive outings.

Sometimes, the best memories were made in a paddling pool with your best friend, while your big brother quietly escaped into another book, your hardworking parents slowly melted in front of their computers, and a tiny mouse spent the afternoon pretending to be the king of sunbathing.

As the sun finally dipped lower over London, Barry yawned.

“So…”

said Marmaduke sleepily.

“What are we doing tomorrow?”

Barry grinned.

“I don’t know.”

“But if it’s still hot…”

“Yes?”

“I’ve got another plan.”

Mr Brand looked up nervously.

“What sort of plan?”

Barry smiled the smile every parent recognises.

The one that begins with curiosity…

and usually ends with towels.

“We haven’t tested the sprinkler yet.”

Mr Brand quietly put another packet of ice lollies into the freezer.

Experience had taught him something important.

You can’t stop Barry having ideas.

You can only make sure there are enough towels nearby.