Monday morning arrived with all the subtlety of a fire alarm.
The alarm clock went off at seven.
Alfie was already awake.
By seven-oh-five, he was dressed.
By seven-ten, he had eaten breakfast.
By seven-fifteen, his school bag was packed, his shoes were on, his coat was ready and he was standing by the front door looking like a small, extremely organised civil servant waiting for public transport.
“Ready,” he announced.
Nobody answered.
Alfie sighed.
This was because the rest of the Brand household was still dealing with Snowball.
Snowball had spent the night sleeping comfortably in one of her new cat baskets, curled into a neat white ball with her tail tucked around her nose.
She was sore, but she was comfortable.
She had eaten some of her recovery food.
She had used one of her new litter trays.
She had even spent a short time in the fleecy radiator hammock, although she had looked at Barry as if to say:
This is very nice. Please don’t make a big thing about it.
Unfortunately, Snowball had not yet realised that in the Brand household, everything was a big thing.
Especially Barry.
Barry was sitting cross-legged on the floor beside her basket.
He was still wearing his pyjamas.
He had been there for approximately forty-five minutes.
He had no intention of moving.
“Barry,” said Mrs Brand, walking into the room with her phone in one hand and a mug of coffee in the other. “You need to get dressed.”
“No.”
“You need to go to school.”
“No.”
“You’ve got school.”
“I know.”
“So you need to get dressed.”
“No.”
Mrs Brand looked at Snowball.
Snowball looked back.
There was a brief moment of silent communication between them.
Mrs Brand’s expression said:
Please help me.
Snowball’s expression said:
I have only known these people for two days. I have no idea what I’m doing.
Mr Brand appeared from the kitchen.
He was reading emails on his phone.
“Morning,” he said.
“Barry won’t get dressed.”
“Why?”
“Snowball.”
Mr Brand looked at Barry.
Barry looked at Snowball.
Snowball blinked.
“Barry,” said Mr Brand, “Snowball will still be here when you come home.”
“I don’t know that.”
“Yes, you do.”
“No, I don’t.”
“She lives here now.”
Barry considered this.
“But she might need me.”
Snowball lifted her head.
She looked at Barry.
Then she looked at the door.
Then she looked back at Barry.
If Snowball could have spoken, she might have said:
Actually, I’m feeling quite all right. Perhaps you could go and learn some numbers.
Instead, she purred.
Barry immediately smiled.
“She needs me.”
Mr Brand closed his eyes briefly.
“Of course she does.”
Alfie appeared in the doorway.
“I think Snowball needs some peace and quiet.”
Barry looked horrified.
“She doesn’t!”
Snowball blinked.
Alfie pointed.
“She literally just closed her eyes.”
Barry leaned closer.
“She’s pretending.”
“She’s a cat.”
“Exactly.”
Alfie stared at him.
There was nothing more to say.
Mrs Brand checked the time.
“We need to leave in twenty minutes.”
Barry hugged his knees.
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
“I’m on Snowball duty.”
“What does Snowball duty involve?”
“Watching her.”
“And what happens if you stop watching her?”
“I don’t know.”
“She might sleep?”
Barry gasped.
“Exactly!”
Mrs Brand put her coffee down.
“Right. I’m going to get dressed.”
Mr Brand looked at his phone.
“I have a meeting at nine.”
Alfie raised his hand.
“I’m ready.”
“Yes, Alfie,” said Mrs Brand. “We know.”
“I’ve been ready for quite a long time.”
“We know that too.”
Alfie nodded.
“Just checking.”
And with that, the adults disappeared upstairs.
Barry remained beside Snowball.
Snowball opened one eye.
Barry whispered, “Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere.”
Snowball closed her eye again.
For Snowball, this was becoming a rather unusual home.
The people were kind.
The food was excellent.
There were beds everywhere.
There was a radiator hammock.
There were two toilets.
Nobody seemed particularly interested in hunting her, which was a welcome change.
But the children were intense.
One of them had spent most of Sunday conducting what he called a vigil.
The other had spent several hours discussing her medical history despite being eight years old.
And now the smallest one was sitting beside her staring at her as though she were the most important scientific discovery since gravity.
Snowball liked them.
She really did.
But she was beginning to think that perhaps she had accidentally moved into a very enthusiastic zoo.
Then there was a knock at the front door.
Marmaduke came in.
“Morning!”
“Morning, Marmaduke,” called Mrs Brand.
Marmaduke looked around.
“Where’s Barry?”
“Exactly where you would expect him to be,” said Mr Brand.
Marmaduke found him on the floor beside Snowball.
“Morning, Barry.”
“I’m not going to school.”
Marmaduke nodded.
“Okay.”
“I have to stay with Snowball.”
“Okay.”
“She needs me.”
“Okay.”
Marmaduke looked at Snowball.
Snowball looked at Marmaduke.
Marmaduke looked back at Barry.
“She looks fine.”
Barry frowned.
“She isn’t.”
“She is sleeping.”
“She might be thinking.”
“She looks like she’s asleep.”
“She could be thinking while she’s asleep.”
Marmaduke considered this.
“Cats can do that?”
“Yes.”
“Can people?”
“Probably.”
Marmaduke nodded thoughtfully.
Then he sat down.
Mrs Brand came back upstairs.
“Marmaduke, can you help me?”
Marmaduke looked up.
“Yes.”
“Can you persuade Barry to get dressed?”
Marmaduke looked at Barry.
Barry looked at Marmaduke.
Marmaduke looked at Snowball.
Snowball looked at Marmaduke.
There was another silent conversation.
This time Snowball’s expression seemed to say:
Please.
Marmaduke stood up.
“Barry.”
“No.”
“You haven’t heard what I’m going to say.”
“I know what you’re going to say.”
“What am I going to say?”
“School.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
Marmaduke nodded.
“Okay. What if we go to school and then come back?”
Barry frowned.
“But Snowball.”
“Snowball will be here.”
“What if she misses me?”
“She’ll probably sleep.”
“What if she wakes up?”
“Then she’ll have a look around.”
“What if she’s hungry?”
“She’ll eat her food.”
“What if she needs me?”
Marmaduke thought carefully.
“Then I’ll ask Mrs Brand to tell you.”
Barry looked suspicious.
“Really?”
“Really.”
Barry considered this.
Marmaduke continued.
“And when you come home, you can check her.”
Barry looked at Snowball.
Snowball was still asleep.
Marmaduke whispered, “She doesn’t even know you’re here.”
Barry looked offended.
“She knows.”
Snowball opened one eye.
Barry pointed triumphantly.
“SEE?”
Marmaduke nodded.
“Yes.”
Snowball closed her eye.
Marmaduke smiled.
“She probably does.”
Barry stood up.
“Fine.”
Mrs Brand nearly dropped her phone.
“Fine?”
“I’ll go to school.”
Mr Brand looked at Marmaduke.
“That’s incredible.”
Marmaduke shrugged.
“I just told him Snowball would still be here.”
Mrs Brand smiled.
“I’ve been saying that for twenty minutes.”
Marmaduke looked puzzled.
“Maybe he likes it better when I say it.”
Mr Brand nodded solemnly.
“Apparently you have a gift.”
Barry marched into his room.
“I’m getting dressed!”
Alfie, who was already waiting by the front door, looked impressed.
“Excellent.”
Barry appeared again five minutes later.
His jumper was on backwards.
His shoes were on the wrong feet.
His school bag was upside down.
Alfie stared at him.
“Barry.”
“What?”
“Your jumper.”
Barry looked down.
“Oh.”
“And your shoes.”
Barry looked at his feet.
“Oh.”
“And your bag.”
Barry looked at his bag.
“Oh.”
Marmaduke shrugged.
“You’re dressed.”
Barry smiled.
“Exactly.”
Mrs Brand corrected the jumper.
Alfie fixed the bag.
Mr Brand picked up Barry’s shoes.
“Let’s try these again.”
Eventually, everyone was ready.
Barry stood by the front door.
He looked worried.
“Snowball.”
Marmaduke crouched beside him.
“Remember. She’ll be here when you get back.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
Barry nodded.
He opened the door.
Then he stopped.
“Wait.”
Everyone groaned.
Barry ran back upstairs.
Snowball was still in her basket.
Barry crouched beside her.
“I’m going to school now.”
Snowball blinked.
“I’ll be back after school.”
Blink.
“You’ll be okay.”
Blink.
“Don’t forget me.”
Snowball stretched one paw.
Barry gently touched it.
Then he smiled.
“Bye, Snowball.”
He ran back to the door.
“Come on!”
The family finally left.
Snowball watched them disappear.
The house became quiet.
Very quiet.
Snowball stretched.
She climbed out of her basket.
She walked over to the radiator hammock.
She jumped up.
She curled herself into a ball.
And, for the first time since arriving at the Brand household, she had some peace.
She closed her eyes.
Perhaps, she thought, she had made the right decision.
The family was loud.
They were emotional.
They asked an extraordinary number of questions.
One child had spent an entire day watching her breathe.
But they were kind.
They had rescued her.
They had fed her.
They had given her warm beds.
They had taken her to the vet.
They had made space for her in their home.
Snowball purred.
She loved her new family.
She just hoped they didn’t all come home from school at the same time.
Because judging by the previous two days, that was when things got interesting.
And somewhere down the road, Barry was walking to school beside Marmaduke.
“You know what?” Barry said.
“What?”
“I think you’re really good at getting me to do things.”
Marmaduke smiled.
“Thank you.”
“I might listen to you more.”
“That would be good.”
Barry thought about it.
“But not everything.”
“No.”
“Because you’re not always right.”
Marmaduke nodded.
“Neither are you.”
Barry smiled.
“Exactly.”
Behind them, Snowball was asleep in her radiator hammock.
And for the first time all weekend, nobody was watching her breathe.
She considered this a considerable improvement.
Although, secretly, she was rather looking forward to them coming home.
Even if they were a bit intense.
After all, they were her intense people now.
Alfie, Barry and Marmaduke Stories 
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