Wednesday dawned over Barbados in a blaze of sunshine so glorious that even Mr Brand briefly considered putting his phone down.
Briefly.
He was sitting at breakfast, staring at a plate of fresh fruit, when his inbox pinged.
He looked at it.
Mrs Brand looked at him.
“Don’t,” she said.
“I haven’t done anything.”
“You’ve looked at your emails with the expression of a man who has just been told the country is running out of lawyers.”
“It could be important.”
“It’s Wednesday. We’re in Barbados. You’re wearing a shirt with flamingos on it. Whatever it is, it can wait.”
Mr Brand glanced down at his shirt.
“They’re tropical birds. It’s appropriate.”
“It’s a cry for help.”
Across the table, Alfie was studying the day’s weather forecast, while Barry and Marmaduke were attempting to build a tower out of pineapple chunks. They had already been told twice that food was for eating, not architecture, but both boys considered rules to be interesting suggestions that grown-ups invented when they were bored.
Marjory Jackson arrived carrying a coffee and the expression of a woman who had made a plan.
This was dangerous.
Marjory was a neurosurgeon. She could organise a complex operating list, manage an emergency and explain a complicated medical situation to a worried family. She could also organise a family day out so efficiently that people sometimes discovered they had agreed to things before they had finished hearing the sentence.
“Right,” she announced. “I’ve got a plan for today.”
Mr Brand put down his phone.
“Should we sit down?”
“You are sitting down.”
“Good. I’m ahead already.”
Marjory smiled.
“It’s Wednesday. The weather is glorious, and I thought you two might like a day to yourselves.”
Mrs Brand blinked.
“Us?”
“Yes, you. Both of you. Without children.”
Mr Brand slowly turned to look at Barry and Marmaduke, who had progressed from pineapple architecture to attempting to balance a grape on the top of the tower.
“Are you sure you’ve thought this through?”
“Entirely.”
“Because those two are currently trying to build a fruit-based skyscraper, and I don’t believe either of them has any intention of obeying the laws of physics.”
“William and I can manage them.”
“William?” asked Mrs Brand.
“My brother. He’s coming over this morning. His daughters, Jade and Esme, are joining us too.”
Alfie looked up.
“Jade’s coming?”
“Yes. She’s your age.”
Alfie immediately looked pleased, then attempted to disguise it by returning to his weather forecast. Unfortunately, he did this with the subtlety of a man trying to hide a marching band behind a teaspoon.
“That’s good,” he said.
Barry’s tower collapsed.
“THE PINEAPPLE BUILDING HAS FALLEN!”
“An architectural tragedy,” said Mr Brand. “We’ll have to notify the authorities.”
Marjory continued as though she hadn’t heard any of this.
“I’ve booked you a car for the day, and I’ve reserved a table for two at The Cliff this evening. You can have a proper dinner, take your time, and enjoy yourselves. William and I will take care of the children.”
Mrs Brand stared at her.
“Marjory, you don’t have to do this.”
“I know.”
“We’re happy to help with Marmaduke.”
“I know that too.”
“Really. You don’t owe us anything.”
Marjory’s expression softened.
“You’ve helped me more times than I can count. You’ve never made Marmaduke feel like an inconvenience, even when I’m on call or working ridiculous hours. You have been there for us without making a performance of it. I wanted to do something for you. So please let me.”
For a moment, Mrs Brand had no answer.
This was unusual enough that Mr Brand glanced at her to check she hadn’t suffered a sudden medical event.
Then she reached across the table and squeezed Marjory’s hand.
“Thank you. That’s incredibly kind.”
“Excellent,” said Marjory. “The car arrives at ten. The restaurant is booked for seven. Wear something nice. And don’t come back early because you feel guilty.”
Mr Brand looked offended.
“Why would we come back early?”
“Because you’re both the sort of people who would spend a romantic dinner wondering whether the children had eaten enough vegetables.”
“We would never—” began Mrs Brand.
“Yes you would!” said Marjory.
Mrs Brand closed her mouth.
“Fine,” said Mr Brand. “We shall be romantic and irresponsible.”
“Try not to be arrested,” said Marjory.
“I can’t promise anything.”
At ten o’clock, the Brands departed.
Mrs Brand wore a lovely summer dress. Mr Brand wore linen trousers and a shirt that was considerably less enthusiastic about tropical birds than his breakfast attire.
As they climbed into the car, Barry ran after them.
“WHERE ARE YOU GOING?”
“Out for the day,” called Mr Brand.
“WHY?”
“To have a little peace and quiet.”
Barry considered this.
“Can we come?”
“No.”
“WHY?”
“Because we’re having peace and quiet.”
Barry looked genuinely puzzled.
“How can you have peace and quiet if you leave us behind?”
Mr Brand paused.
“That’s an excellent question. One I intend to explore thoroughly.”
Mrs Brand waved from the passenger seat.
“Have a lovely day, darling!”
“DON’T FORGET YOUR CHILDREN!” Barry shouted.
“Noted!” she called back.
The car pulled away.
Barry watched it disappear.
Then he turned to Marmaduke.
“Right. We’re in charge now.”
“No, we’re not,” said Alfie.
“Dad said they were having peace and quiet. That means we can have noise.”
“That is not what it means.”
“It’s what it means to us.”
And with that, the holiday descended into its next phase.
William arrived shortly afterwards, carrying beach bags, a cool box and the calm expression of a man who had not yet spent a full day supervising Barry and Marmaduke.
His daughters followed.
Jade was eight, like Alfie, and shared his love of football, games and knowing the rules before anyone started playing. She greeted him warmly, and within five minutes they were discussing whether a beach football match could be organised without the ball ending up in the sea.
Esme was younger, full of enthusiasm and possessed of an extraordinary ability to move from one activity to another without any visible transition.
She arrived, announced that she was hungry, found a biscuit, asked where the beach was, discovered a bucket, abandoned the bucket, and sprinted towards the garden.
“Esme!” William called.
“I’m here!”
“You’re over there!”
“YES!”
William closed his eyes.
“It’s going to be a long day.”
Marjory took a sip of coffee.
“You have no idea.”
The group headed to the beach, where the sea was bright turquoise, the sand warm beneath their feet and the breeze gentle enough to make everything seem delightfully uncomplicated.
This illusion lasted approximately four minutes.
Esme discovered a crab.
“LOOK!”
Barry and Marmaduke rushed over.
The crab scuttled sideways.
Esme scuttled after it.
Barry scuttled after Esme.
Marmaduke followed Barry, because that was generally how Marmaduke made decisions.
“Children!” Marjory called. “Stay where we can see you!”
“We can see the crab!” shouted Esme.
“That wasn’t the instruction!”
The crab disappeared beneath a rock.
Esme immediately announced that it had gone into hiding and needed to be rescued.
“It’s a crab,” Alfie explained. “It lives there.”
“Maybe it doesn’t like its house,” said Marmaduke.
“Maybe it likes not being chased by three small people.”
“Four,” said Barry. “I’m a person too.”
“Thank you for the clarification.”
Jade and Alfie began a game of beach football with a soft ball. They agreed on boundaries, teams and a sensible rule that nobody was allowed to kick the ball directly into the sea.
Barry and Marmaduke were not invited to play at first, partly because they were busy chasing Esme and partly because nobody trusted them to respect the boundary rule.
This proved wise.
Esme found a piece of driftwood and declared it a pirate sword.
Barry immediately needed one.
Marmaduke found a long palm leaf and decided it was a fishing rod.
Within minutes, the three of them were pirates searching for a legendary treasure buried somewhere along the coast.
“I’m Captain Esme!” Esme announced.
“I’m Captain Barry!”
“I’m Captain Marmaduke!”
“You can’t all be captain,” Alfie called.
“WHY NOT?”
“Because that’s not how captains work.”
“Maybe it’s a new boat,” Barry replied.
Alfie turned back to Jade.
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”
Jade nodded sympathetically.
“It’s usually best.”
For the next hour, Marjory and William found themselves performing a peculiar dance of parental supervision.
One would watch Barry while the other watched Esme, only for Marmaduke to wander towards a rock pool and require both adults to redirect him. Then Esme would announce she was thirsty, Barry would announce he was starving, and Marmaduke would announce he had swallowed seawater.
“You swallowed seawater?” Marjory asked, immediately attentive.
“A little.”
“How much?”
Marmaduke held his thumb and forefinger a tiny distance apart.
“This much.”
“Did you drink it deliberately?”
“No. It came into my mouth when I was talking.”
“An unfortunate design flaw,” said William.
Barry nodded solemnly. “The sea has too much water in it.”
Marjory stared at him.
“That’s generally considered one of its defining characteristics.”
William passed Marmaduke his water bottle and reminded all three children to take breaks, stay within the designated area and never go into the water without an adult.
They listened carefully.
For approximately thirty seconds.
Then Esme spotted a little wave rolling onto the sand.
“RACE!”
She sprinted towards it.
Barry sprinted after her.
Marmaduke sprinted after Barry.
“STOP!” shouted Marjory.
All three stopped.
For one glorious moment, Marjory believed she had achieved parental authority.
Then Esme pointed at the water.
“Look! It’s coming back!”
And off they went again.
William looked at his sister.
“Do they always do this?”
Marjory took a slow breath.
“Barry and Marmaduke? Yes.”
“And Esme?”
“She appears to have been designed by the same manufacturer.”
William watched the children running along the damp sand.
“I’m beginning to understand why you booked dinner for the Brands.”
“I wanted them to have a romantic evening.”
“No, I mean I’m beginning to understand why you wanted them out of the house.”
“Both things can be true.”
By lunchtime, the children had collected shells, built a sandcastle, invented a game called Don’t Let the Crab Win, argued about whose turn it was to be a pirate, and attempted to appoint Jade as Queen of Barbados.
Jade declined the position on the grounds that she had not been consulted about the job description.
Alfie was having a genuinely excellent time. He and Jade had organised a football tournament and were keeping score with impressive seriousness. They had even created a small league table using a notebook and a pencil.
“Why are you writing everything down?” Barry asked.
“Because otherwise nobody knows the score.”
“We know the score.”
“What is it?”
Barry paused.
“Two.”
“Two what?”
“Goals.”
“Which team?”
Barry considered the question with the solemnity of a barrister being asked to identify a missing witness.
“The winning team.”
Alfie shut the notebook.
“I am surrounded by people who regard information as optional.”
Jade patted him on the shoulder.
“You’re doing very well.”
“Thank you. I try to maintain standards.”
Meanwhile, William had set up lunch under some shade. There were sandwiches, fruit, crisps and plenty of water. Marjory insisted that everyone sit down and eat before they returned to the beach.
Esme ate half a sandwich, announced she was full, then ate two of Barry’s crisps, a piece of Jade’s mango and the biscuit William had been saving for later.
“Esme,” William said, “didn’t you say you were full?”
“Yes.”
“Then why are you eating everyone else’s food?”
“Because theirs looks nicer.”
William stared at her.
Marjory nodded sympathetically.
“That’s a familiar argument.”
“Does Marmaduke do that?”
“He once refused a perfectly good sandwich because Barry had said his was tastier.”
“Was it?”
“No. They were identical.”
“Ah.”
“Children are not always guided by evidence.”
Alfie looked up from his notebook.
“Some of us are.”
“Thank goodness,” said Marjory. “Otherwise we’d have to live on biscuits and imaginary treasure.”
Barry perked up.
“Can we look for treasure after lunch?”
“No digging up the beach,” Marjory said.
“We weren’t going to dig up the beach.”
“What were you going to do?”
“Dig down into it.”
William took a long drink of water.
He was beginning to understand his sister’s lifestyle.
The afternoon passed in a haze of sunshine, sea breezes and increasingly elaborate games.
At one point, Esme decided that Barry and Marmaduke needed rescuing from a pretend sinking ship. The ship was a large rock. The sinking was a result of Esme’s own announcement that the rock was sinking. The rescue involved running in circles, shouting “ABANDON SHIP!” and trying to persuade Alfie to abandon a perfectly stable towel.
“I’m not leaving my towel,” Alfie said.
“It’s sinking!” cried Esme.
“It’s on sand.”
“The sand is wet!”
“That’s not the same as sinking.”
“IT IS IF YOU BELIEVE!”
Alfie looked at Jade.
“Is this how your family normally behaves?”
“Only when we’re awake.”
“I see.”
Barry and Marmaduke were now entirely committed to the shipwreck. They had invented a rescue helicopter, a sea monster and a secret treasure chest that could only be opened by shouting the password.
“What is the password?” William asked, hoping to bring some structure to proceedings.
Barry leaned towards him.
“Pineapple.”
“Of course it is.”
“Pineapple with extra pineapple.”
William nodded gravely.
“That’s a very secure password.”
By late afternoon, the children were tired, sandy and still full of energy, which was a particularly irritating combination. Marjory and William, on the other hand, were tired, sandy and had begun to look at the sea as though it might offer a quiet place to retire.
Then William announced the next event.
“A barbecue on the beach.”
The children cheered.
Marjory smiled.
“We’ll finish the day with dinner here, then have sundowners together.”
“What’s a sundowner?” asked Barry.
“A drink while the sun goes down,” William explained.
“Why don’t you drink it while the sun is up?”
“Because then it would just be a drink.”
Barry thought about this.
“That’s silly.”
“Welcome to adulthood,” said Mr Brand, had he been there. But he wasn’t, which was why everyone was enjoying themselves.
The barbecue was set up in a safe, designated area on the beach, with William and Marjory supervising the food and making sure the children stayed well clear of the hot equipment.
Jade and Alfie helped arrange plates and napkins. Barry and Marmaduke were given the important responsibility of carrying plastic cups from the table to the seating area.
They took this very seriously.
They carried one cup each.
Then they returned for another.
Then they discovered that if they carried two cups each, they could complete the task twice as quickly.
Then Barry put a cup on his head.
“I’m a cup pirate!”
“Take it off,” said Marjory.
“It’s my hat.”
“It’s a cup.”
“It’s both.”
William intervened before the entire drinks service became a theatrical performance.
Dinner was delicious: grilled food, salads, fresh bread and fruit. The adults finally sat down, while the children ate in the warm evening air and told each other increasingly unlikely stories about the day’s adventures.
Esme claimed to have rescued a crab from a sinking ship.
Barry said he’d been the captain.
Marmaduke insisted he’d caught a fish with his palm-leaf fishing rod.
Alfie pointed out that none of these things had happened.
“It’s called imagination,” Barry told him.
“It’s called making things up.”
“That’s what imagination is.”
Alfie paused.
“Unfortunately, that’s correct.”
After dinner, the adults settled down with their sundowner drinks as the sun lowered towards the horizon. The sky changed from bright blue to gold, then peach and pink, and the sea seemed to catch every colour.
For a while, even the children were quiet.
Barry sat between Marmaduke and Esme, watching the light shimmer on the water. Jade and Alfie sat nearby, discussing football and whether they could organise another match before the holiday ended.
Marjory looked around at her family, her brother and the Brands’ children.
“It’s been a good day,” she said softly.
William smiled. “A very good day.”
“Even though Esme tried to appoint herself captain of the sea?”
“Especially because of that.”
Marjory looked over at the boys.
“I’m glad I could give the Brands some time together. They do so much for us.”
William nodded.
“They clearly love you all.”
“They do. And they never make us feel as though we’re asking too much.”
“That’s family,” William said.
Marjory smiled, watching Barry and Marmaduke whispering to each other over a shell.
“Sometimes family is the people who show up. Sometimes it’s the people who stay. And sometimes it’s the people who will take three four-year-olds to a beach and then agree to a barbecue.”
William raised his glass.
“To family.”
“To family,” Marjory agreed.
Across the sand, Barry suddenly stood up.
“I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!”
Every adult in earshot instinctively braced themselves.
“We are going to build a pirate ship tomorrow!”
“No,” said Marjory.
“A SMALL pirate ship!”
“No.”
“A pretend pirate ship!”
“Possibly.”
“With a crab!”
“Absolutely not.”
“Kevin the fish?”
“Kevin is not here,” said Marmaduke.
Barry looked outraged.
“He could be!”
William lowered his glass.
“Perhaps we should have a quiet evening tomorrow.”
Marjory took a sip of her drink.
“Perhaps we should book the Brands another dinner.”
The sun slipped towards the horizon, the children began yawning at last, and the grown-ups sat together in the warm Barbadian evening, grateful for good food, good company and the sort of friendship that asked for nothing and gave everything.
Mr and Mrs Brand, meanwhile, were enjoying a magnificent dinner at The Cliff, blissfully unaware that their sons had spent the day trying to rescue a rock, appoint a queen, establish a pirate fleet and recruit a fish.
Mrs Brand lifted her glass.
“To a rare evening off.”
Mr Brand smiled.
“To Marjory.”
“And William.”
“And whoever invented babysitting.”
He paused.
“Do you think the children are behaving?”
Mrs Brand looked at him.
“Darling, we are at The Cliff. The sea is sparkling, the food is delicious, and nobody has asked us to find a crab’s missing hat.”
Mr Brand raised his glass.
“Then let’s not ruin it by asking questions.”
And for once, the two lawyers did exactly as they were told.
They relaxed, enjoyed their dinner and watched the sun go down.
Somewhere down the beach, Barry was explaining to Marmaduke that tomorrow they would need a bigger treasure map.
And William, hearing him, quietly asked Marjory whether she had the Brands’ number for the restaurant on Thursday.
Just in case.
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